Thriving New Mama

Reframes that are simple, easy to remember and quick to implement can COMPLETELY TRANSFORM YOUR MOTHERHOOD.

When your child is throwing food on the floor (reality of baby-led weaning) or you’ve just stepped on a stray lego block, being able to ground yourself and reframe your perspective can change how you choose to respond.

There are three types of reframes that I find super helpful and applicable in a few situations.

Reframe: Change “I am” to “I feel”

“I’m a terrible mother because I can’t soothe my child” is a statement of identity. Feeling terrible, guilty, or helpless are valid feelings. They do not make who you are.

Reframe that statement into an “I feel” statement, such as “I feel terrible because my child is not settling.”

As you verbalize how you’re feeling, it also helps with self-awareness. It slows you down and gives you some time and space to identify your need.

Bonus tip: Place your hand on your heart. As you repeat how you feel, acknowledge that “it mustn’t be easy to feel that way.” It’s going to feel like a warm hug.

Reframe: Change “I have to” to “I get to”

I love this. It’s a practice in gratitude as well.

Instead of “I have to wake up in the middle of the night or stop my work to attend to my child,” try “I get to attend to my child because he wants my comforting.”

Reframe: Add “because I am new at this”

It’s so tough trying to bathe a crying baby. It’s so stressful commuting on the public transport, wondering when your baby is going to need to nurse or suddenly start crying. It’s so frustrating trying to latch the baby with the nursing cover on.

BECAUSE I AM NEW AT THIS.

Of course, it’s messy. It’s hard before it gets easy.

I believe in motherhood as a thriving period of joy and growth. I hope these reframes help you with your day to day. Give it a try and let me know how it has worked out for you!