Thriving New Mama

After 4 years undertaking my Masters of Arts in Counseling, my parents admitted over a family lunch, “Actually, I still don’t get it. What do you do?”

Honestly, counselling sounded like fluff to me. I sit down, talk to a person for a couple of times and miraculously, my problems go away and I become happier? It sounds like such a stretch.

Come along with me as I walk you through my thought process on WHAT IS COUNSELLING?!

Counsellors are mental health professionals who are trained:

• With an understanding of human development across a lifespan
• To integrate spirituality, gender and sexuality, and family systems to have a holistic understanding and assessment of client’s issues and to support lasting change
• In various therapy modalities including expressive and experiential activities to facilitate self-awareness and growth
• To use their clinical skills to support client change for improved wellbeing

To be a clinical member with the Singapore Association for Counselling, you need a minimum of a Masters Degree and 100 clinical hours.

After I explained this to my parents (and whoever is willing to read/listen), they asked the next question:

“Why would I want to talk to you – someone 20, 30 years younger than me? How would you know what I’m going through?”

Unemployment, grief, terminal illness, divorce… these are cases that I’ve encountered before and believe me, I have asked myself the same questions.

THE THING IS – I’m NOT going to fully understand what you’re going through and how exactly you’re feeling.

It’d be prideful of me to even claim as such.

WHAT I OFFER IS –

• The commitment to doing the self-work so that I remain compassionate and curious about your experience, humble and non-judgemental in my interaction with you
• The clinical skills in observations, asking questions, adopting suitable therapy modalities to facilitate your self-awareness, self-acceptance and change in your life
• The constant reflection on the human condition and ability to empathise
• The ongoing professional development to understand the latest science of lifespan development, neuroscience, somatics, family systems so that I can provide a holistic assessment and intervention plan
• The commitment to have hope that you’re capable, and the patience to go at your pace

These are skills are that transferable to ANY cases.

Having said that, my professional and personal experiences give me the opportunity to learn about the following issues more: Anxiety, Grief and Loss, Illness, Palliative Care and Bereavement, Life Transitions, New Parenthood, Relationship Challenges

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The next question my parents asked me is,

“What actually happens during the session?”

Honestly, I use to think it’s two things:

I listen.

I ask you, “how do you feel?”

Which is not entirely untrue.

The KEY here is that these two are done with INTENTION. That’s what the clinical skills we’re equipped with do. We learn to be purposeful in our listening and questioning so that YOU can be more aware and feel more confident, hopeful and empowered.

• #1 You can choose however much to share and however fast the session goes.
• #2 You can change the subject anytime and we can circle back when you feel more comfortable.
• #3 You can opt for less talk, more experiential modalities e.g. drawing, sharing Spotify playlists.

Here’s a rough breakdown of a typical session

A typical session lasts 50-60 mins. I like to start with grounding exercises so you can have the time and space to prepare yourself for the session. (We might have missed the bus, or rushed from some other appointments.)

Then, I’d usually open the floor for you to decide how you want to go ahead. I may offer a summary of our past session or a follow-up from a task that was assigned for between sessions.

During the bulk of the time, we could talk or engage in an experiential or expressive arts modality.

The last few minutes are set aside for consolidating what we’ve done for the session and a check-in on how you’re doing before we close the session.

Here’s a secret: You can decide whether or not to turn up for the next session.

It’s your growth and change. And growth happens OUT of your comfort zone. It can be hard. As counsellors, we’re partners, collaborators, guides that support you along the way.

Anytime the sessions are no longer working for you, you CAN tell the counsellor and have an open discussion about what’s next for you.

We could change the approach.

We could also refer to another counsellor.

Aside from individual counselling, I also offer couples counselling and group programmes.

“How long does it take to see results?”

This is something I asked my supervisor when I was just starting out. Because counselling can be expensive.

While every case is different and the recommended number of sessions depends on the complexity of the case, here’s my promise:

You should see results within 2-3 sessions.

I like to offer simple and powerful strategies. Even if the root cause is not yet addressed, I like to equip clients with coping skills and psychoeducation that help shift their current states.

So coming back to my first question – What is counselling?! Is it even legit?

• Counsellors are trained mental health professionals, with clinical training at a Master’s Level and mandatory practicum
• Counsellors are equipped with knowledge of human development and functioning, and clinical skills to facilitate change for clients
• Counsellors do the self-work so that they can hold hope, compassionate and patient space, humble and non-judgemental attitude towards their clients

Yes, we’re legit.