By Shereen | Thriving New Mama
You’ve checked “self-care” off your to-do list. You’ve taken the day off to get your hair done and spend some time alone in the cafe. BUT you still feel tired, irritable and worse, GUILTY even after a break.
The truth is, these aesthetic versions of self-care—while Instagram-worthy—don’t actually align with how our body and brain are actually wired. They’re not enough to build the kind of emotional resilience that mothers actually need for the long run.
Why the “IG-worthy” self-care does NOT work for moms
Many popular “self-care” practices e.g. doing your hair, booking a massage, etc. are designed to disrupt stress for a moment—not to build regulation capacity over time. They offer temporary relief but don’t help us recover more quickly from dysregulation, manage tough conversations, or stay grounded when our toddler is crying for the third time in 10 minutes.
The real work of caring for yourself goes deeper—and it starts with something you probably didn’t expect:
Your nervous system.
Moms, it’s time to meet the key to emotional resilience – your nervous system
Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is biological and it’s always working behind the scenes to keep you safe. Good news, right? It scans for signals of danger (even subtle ones—like a snide comment from your in-laws or your partner’s silence during conflict). And based on what it perceives, it kicks your body into a state:
- Safe and grounded
- Fight/flight (mobilized)
- Shut down (immobilized)
This all happens automatically, often before your brain catches up. (so, no need to feel guilty because you aren’t even consciously in control!)
When your nervous system is overworked—because you’re overstimulated, touched-out, or emotionally loaded—it becomes harder to stay regulated. That’s why even small things (like your child spilling milk or your partner forgetting to text) can feel like a breaking point.
If you’re a high-functioning, emotionally aware mom who has been told you’re “too sensitive” or “always overthinking”… you’re not broken.
You just have a nervous system that’s doing its job, but it might be pushed to the edge very often. But here’s the good news:
You can strengthen it.
Why strengthening your nervous system as moms builds emotional resilience
Nervous system regulation is the foundation of emotional resilience. It’s the hidden gear that helps you go from:
- Snapping at your spouse → pausing and responding
- Melting down at 6pm → staying steady through the bedtime rush
- Feeling alone in your frustration → feeling safe in your own body
This isn’t about “thinking positive” or “just taking deep breaths.” It’s about daily micro-habits that build attentiveness and responsiveness at the body level.
When you strengthen your nervous system, you:
- Increase your capacity to manage stress without shutting down
- Stay more present during hard conversations with your partner
- Model calm and connection to your child—even when they’re not calm themselves
And the best part?
You can start with just 5 minutes every day.
💌 Ready to Start?👉 [Download your free nervous system self-care guide here]
Free Guide: 10 Body-Based Regulation Tips for Moms
I’ve put together a free resource:
“Top 10 science-backed tips for mom self-care”
It includes 10 science-backed regulation tips for moms—practices you can do in under 5 minutes to support your mental health, build your emotional regulation, and return to calm in the middle of everyday chaos.
Some of what you’ll find inside:
- Body-based calming techniques (no journal needed!)
- Categorised into up-regulation and down-regulation tools for different emotional states
- Simple ways to notice what your body needs, even in the middle of a busy day
- Micro habits that work with your nervous system, not against it
You can use them when you’re in a stressed state or just a part of “real self-care.” Download “Top 10 science-backed tips for mom self-care.”
Emotional regulation is hard. Especially at the end of a long day when your body just wants to collapse and your brain can’t hold one more thought. But that’s exactly why we need to build it in micro-doses, in ways that actually fit your life.
💌 Ready to Start?👉 [Download your free nervous system self-care guide here]
This is your invitation to care for yourself in ways that are quietly powerful, emotionally honest, and biologically grounded.
P.S. You don’t need to feel calm all the time.
But you can feel safer in your own skin—one micro-practice at a time.
Thriving New Mama 
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