You’ve started a new role, returned from leave or taken on more at home. On paper, the change has happened. Inside, you may still be finding your feet. You feel proud one moment and unsure the next. It can be hard to explain why something you wanted also feels tiring.
I conducted a Safe Space x Ogilvy webinar as part of their Mental Health Month, exploring managing transitions and self-discovery. We looked at how change affects our feelings, the strengths we carry across different roles, and what everyday actions can tell us about our values.
Here are three takeaways you can use at work and at home. Each offers a way to get curious about yourself, without needing to work out your whole future today.
1. Give your feelings time to catch up with change
A change is the event. A transition is the inner work of adjusting to it. This distinction comes from William Bridges’ work on transitions.
For example, your promotion may start on Monday. Getting used to leading former peers, making decisions and asking for help can take longer. At home, a child may settle into school while you are still adjusting to a new routine or a different sense of your role.
Mixed feelings can give you useful information. You can welcome an opportunity and miss what came before. Feeling anxious doesn’t cancel out your excitement.
In the webinar, I introduced three ways to think about transition: it is a process, it affects different parts of life, and it is personal. Two people can face the same change and need different kinds of support.
Try asking: “What has changed around me? What am I still adjusting to within me?” Notice your body too. Perhaps your shoulders feel tense or you feel unusually tired. A sensation is a clue to explore, rather than proof of one particular emotion.
2. Look for strengths across the roles you already carry
When one part of life feels unfamiliar, it can become harder to see what you bring. You may think, “I’m new at this,” and overlook skills you use elsewhere every day.
One exercise in my webinar material looks at three roles: professional, family member and friend. Write down a few things you do in each role. Then look for the strengths underneath them.
For example, you might help a colleague untangle a problem, plan care for a family member and listen carefully to a friend. Those actions may point to patience, organisation or the ability to understand another person’s view.
You don’t need a new job title before you can recognise those strengths. Look for evidence: “When did I use this? What did I actually do?”
Then choose one strength to carry into your current change. If you listen well, you might use that skill to understand your new team before trying to have every answer. If you are good at planning, you might make a simple weekly routine while leaving room to adjust it.
3. Find your values in ordinary actions
“What are your values?” can feel like a big question. Starting with your daily life often makes it easier to answer.
Choose one role and list the things you do in a typical day. Include small actions: checking in on someone, preparing for a meeting, making time for lunch or learning something new. Pick three activities that feel important to you.
For each one, ask: “What matters to me underneath this?”
Preparing carefully for a meeting might reflect care, competence or fairness. Calling a friend might reflect connection. Protecting a quiet evening might reflect rest or family time. The meaning is yours to name; the same action can reflect different values for different people.
Also notice which actions feel chosen and which feel driven by habit or other people’s expectations. Doing something often doesn’t automatically mean it reflects what you value.
Once you find a value, make it practical. If connection matters, what is one small way to make room for it this week? A short, unhurried conversation may fit your life better than a large new commitment.
One Thing To Try
Take a page and finish these three sentences: “I’m still adjusting to…”, “A strength I can use is…” and “One thing that matters to me is…”. Choose a small next step from what you notice.
If you plan wellbeing sessions for your team, these are the kinds of questions we can explore through guided reflection and practical exercises. Find out about my talks, workshops and facilitation.
Book a free discovery call
Would you like support for yourself or a wellbeing session for your team? Let’s talk about what you need. In a free 30-minute discovery call, you can ask questions and explore how we could work together.
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