Someone tells you they’re struggling. A colleague says the workload is too much. Your partner says they feel alone with the children. You want to help, so you offer advice. A few minutes later, the conversation feels tense and you’re unsure what happened.
Sometimes we need to understand a little more before we decide what to do. The way we respond can make it easier for someone to speak honestly, ask for help or tell us we have misunderstood.
In my Safe Space workshop material for DBS on mental wellness and employee motivation, I use RISE: Reflect, Invite more, Side with them, Encourage. It is a simple guide for supportive conversations. Here’s how its steps can help at work and at home.
What does psychological safety mean?
In workplace research, psychological safety concerns whether people feel able to ask questions, raise concerns or admit a mistake without being humiliated or punished for speaking up. Amy Edmondson’s work explains why these everyday risks matter for learning in teams.
At home, we can apply a related question: “Can I tell you something difficult and still expect respect?” This is an everyday application of the idea, rather than a claim that a family and a workplace are the same.
Clear expectations and honest conversations can sit together. A manager can listen carefully while addressing a missed deadline. A parent can understand a child’s feelings while holding a limit.
RISE is my conversation guide, not a clinical treatment or a measure of psychological safety. Trust also depends on what happens after a conversation: whether concerns are taken seriously, boundaries are respected and agreed actions happen.
R — Reflect what you notice or hear
Start with a clear observation or a short summary of what the person has said. Keep room for them to correct you.
At work: “You said the new requests are making it hard to finish the report. Have I understood?”
At home: “You’ve handled bedtime on your own this week, and you’re saying it feels like too much.”
You can name a feeling gently: “That sounds frustrating. Is that the right word?” Avoid turning a guess into a fact. Being quiet in a meeting, for example, does not tell you someone’s mental health or motivation. Reflecting means checking your understanding, rather than deciding what their experience must be.
I — Invite more before giving advice
Ask one open question, then leave time for the answer. “What would you like me to understand?” or “Which part has been hardest?” can be enough.
If a colleague says they cannot keep up, you might learn that two people have given them different priorities. Another productivity tip won’t settle that conflict. The next useful step may be clarifying what should come first.
At home, “What would help tonight?” may lead to a request for practical help, quiet time or simply being heard. Let the person choose what they share. A supportive conversation does not require private medical details or a full account of every difficult feeling.
S — Side with them: work on the problem together
Being on the same team means treating the concern as something to understand and work through together. You can do that while keeping boundaries and responsibilities clear.
At work: “We need the report by Friday. Let’s look at what can wait and what support is available.”
At home: “We both need some rest. Let’s work out who can handle dinner and bedtime tonight.”
You don’t have to agree with every explanation or promise something you cannot deliver. You can say, “I can’t change that decision myself. I can help you raise the concern with the person who can.” The aim is a clear, shared next step that fits the situation.
E — Encourage with something specific and true
Offer appreciation that matches what you have heard. “Thank you for telling me before this became harder to manage” is more useful than a quick promise that everything will be fine.
At home, you might say, “I’m glad you told me you need a break.” With a colleague: “You’ve been trying to keep several things moving. Let’s decide what needs attention first.”
Then follow through. Who will do what? When will you check in? If the issue is too much work, support may need to include changing priorities or resources. If someone has asked for help at home, agree on an actual task. Warm words matter more when actions support them.
One Thing To Try
In your next everyday conversation, practise just the first two steps: reflect what you heard and invite a little more. Before offering advice, check whether you have understood what the person needs.
I offer workshops where teams can practise RISE through fictional examples, guided conversations and reflection. Find out about my communication and wellbeing sessions. You can also save this post and return to one phrase when you need it.
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